It Is Now Xmas Appropriate Time (Star Wars Christmas Special Liveblog Edition)

I am lifting the Angry Internet Man ban on premature Xmas jolliment. From today on Xmas is acceptable. We shall start with the modern classic The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Itchy and Lumpy wish you a happy Life Day (so does Art Carney)…

Bugger me, Grandpa Itchy freaks me the hell out.

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Mark Hamill’s eye makup is scarier.
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‘You may say she made it by Hand. Solo.’
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Stir whip stir whip whip whip stir
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32:22 – W.T.F. Is Grandpa Itchy watching porn or is it me?
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38:17 – ACT CARRIE FISHER, ACT!
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42:20 – Look for the union label song. YAY!
Also; MERRY CHRISTMAS DADDY, I BOUGHT YOU A SHIT COLOURED BAKELITE PHONE BECAUSE I HATE YOU
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45:07 – I think he’s a baddie
47:03 – These THINGS have no respect for authority!
48:40 – JEFFERSON STARSHIP! This is the best Christmas special evar!
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56:08 – Cartoon. Looks like it was made by the guys that did Heavy Metal. MOAR BOOBS!
59:11 – Boba Fett! ‘I know this sleeping virus’. P.s. Great mince that guy has
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1:11:00 – That stuffed bantha. I must make love to it! Oops!
1:15:30 – Circuit breaker moduuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
1:19:18 – Bald eagles and Whirlpool appliances. PATRIOTISM!
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1:20:16 – Cantina band feat. the Greedo that shot first
1:27:24 – I’ve been to WMCs like this
1:28:20 – OLD LADY SINGING! NO! THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL EVAR!
1:32:50 – Singing over. Huzzah!
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1:34:00 – Drama is happening
1:34:10 – 80′s adbreak. ‘Clothes that deserve a second look, a second look deserve Woolite’. ‘Real panties in our pantie hose’.
I am confused by stripping air hostesses having a ‘layover’
Holy fuck The Wiz! I was in that at school
1:37:50 – Drama reccomences
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1:38:35 – Wilhelm scream
1:39:39 – Why has Han said more to Chewie’s wife than Chewie has? Hmmmmmm
1:40:55 – HOT WOOKIE SEX
1:41:14 – Right in front of the kid and freaky looking grandpa!
1:41:17 – Ahhh, coitus interruptus
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1:44:23 – I don’t know what’s happening either
1:44:43 – Impromptu Bohemian Rhapsody. Makes sense
1:45:02 – Also LSD
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1:47:22 – And we’re back!
1:48:00 – Happy life day! Why are you all in red? Is this some kind of cult?
1:49:05 – SING CARRIE FISHER, FUCKING SING!
1:50:26 – CARRIE FISHER STILL FUCKING SINGING! Hit that high note!
1:51:00 – Inappropriate Star Wars music!
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1:52:10 – Done!
1:53:00 – Wait! Still time to sell the toys!
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1:54:30 – Still stretching it out. HOW? WHY?
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1:55:41 – Thank buggery fuck that’s done. See you again next Life Day(TM)!

Tags: George Lucas rapes your face, star wars, video, Xmas

Tagged… in the USA…

A year ago, in an uncharacteristic show of generosity, a close friend of mine loaned me his “spare” X-Box 360 indefinitely. Over looking how lucky I was to secure such a deal, this has lead to much annoyance on my part and I’ll tell you for why…

When logging on I found the American market place information, this seemed pretty cool, that was until I tried to buy anything and was given the message “not available in your current location”.

Some time later (when I couldn’t download the Duke Nukem 3D demo!?!), I decided this would no longer do. I went to the X-Box Live website to change my information and found I was able to change every detail apart from my country, which was greyed out and displayed as “United States of America”.

Pausing for thought, I figured this may be because my Gamertag information could be linked to my MS Passport, which in turn was populated by my Hotmail account. I vaguely remembered signing up for a US Hotmail account to get the .com address rather than the .co.uk, but that was in 1998 so memories are fuzzy. Acting on this hunch I went to check it out and change the country if I needed to, which would hopefully precipitate the change I required.

After changing my address from somewhere in Puerto Rico (yeah, I know) to England I checked back but nothing had changed. I tried further times and on several different areas, but no matter what I tried the country of my X-Box Live account never changed. Reluctantly I phoned their helpline and was reassured that many other people have experienced the same problem, usually when moving from one country to another for work or university. “Excellent” I said, “there must be a solution then”. “There is”, I was told, “just start a new Gamertag but put England in it this time…”.

Yeah, and that’s it. End of conversation. No more steps. Just bin your ‘tag and don’t use it again. No transferring of achievements or memberships, no process for keeping your MS Fun-buck$ or downloaded content (although this obviously didn’t apply to me), nope just start again from scratch.

Apparently it’s “Impossible” to change that entry on the database. Being a user of MS Access I can well believe that making anything do what you want it to on a Microsoft database can be unnecessarily hard but also being an IT Professional I know that “Impossible” is almost certainly untrue. As such I have decided to continue my quest to find a way around this.

To be continued…

Tags: Duke Nukem, gamers, gamertag, games, Microsoft, Puerto Rico, wtf?, X-Box, X-Box Live