the singularity will suck

Sex Robots [The Let's Keep SC Banned Edition]

Posted by Neil

Well the filter at my workplace already blocks this site for promoting hate speech I figure I’ll get all this kinda stuff out of my system. Let me tell you a story…

There once was a man called Douglas Hines who worked for Bell Labs developing AIs (I’m guessing that means those automated telephone call answer jobs) and had a very good friend. Mr. Hines very good friend had the unfortunate luck to be killed during the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center. Mr. Hines was very upset by this and vowed to maintain her personality as an AI and set about creating his memorial to a dead friend. Not wanting to leave his friend as a disembodied voice he chose to make her a body. Out of vinyl. With three different orifices. And called it Foxxxy.

I’ll lay odds on this being Chinese whispers, but did you know at the annual AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (the trade show that runs opposite CES so the journalists have something to do except look silly in 3d glasses) a company unveiled what they call a ‘sex robot’? Like most horrific sex products it looks like somebody who died during drastic facial surgery and like most ‘robots’ not built by a Japanese Heavy Industry or MIT, it can’t move it’s dead, fleshy limbs and really just talks. In a weird computer voice.

They have built a plowable Steven Hawking.

With typical class Fox News (who have just hired Failin’ Pailin’) leads their article with ‘Nerds and geeks can breathe a sigh of relief: The world’s first life-size robotic girlfriend is finally here.’ As a geek and erstwhile nerd, I can safely say I will not be putting my junk anywhere near this thing. Ado might think about it though.

Plenty of spots on the internet have picked this up, and they all seem to corroborate the worrying 9/11 story. Whilst you sit and cry about how the future isn’t working out like you thought it would, see Foxxxy in action:

Pretty NSFW